1968 - Born, May 20, In the Wonderful State of Florida
1971-1972, I was molested for the first time by Herbert Holcomb Swisher 11, Heir to Swisher Sweet Cigars. This would last till I was 15 and during this time I experienced things that will shock the readers of this blog.
1976 in just third grade, (hoke) would take a puppy I had named brownie to my school, then come to me to tell me what he had done. He then told me that if anyone asked if that was my dog that he would kill me if I told them it was. This dog found me the next day and followed me everywhere. Several days of my denying the dog, I am told by my teacher after the dog walked into the open door during class and walked right up to me to take it to the office and tell them that this strange dog is following me everywhere. I leave the class, crying begging the dog to run away as I head to the office to do as I was told. I was sent back to class and a day or so later when I was in the lunch room, my puppy comes in right up to me. Everyone freaked and the school custodian Roosevelt Triplet came in with a rope and put it around the dogs neck and carried my puppy out the door swinging from the end of the rope. The dog had mange, and later when I would ask him what he done with the dog, he told me he killed it. He would become the target of my rage for in my youth he had become the enemy. Later I would attack this man who would just laugh as I cussed him, kicked him, pulled his hair, called him names as he carries me back to school over his shoulder after chasing me as I ran from a teacher and insisted I was going home. Mr Triplet was a pastor who ran a small church in Wakulla County, Fl
1985 - My brother took myself and my sister to the police station to turn (Hoke) in for his crimes against us. Our story would be the first story of it's kind to be posted in the small town news paper in Wakulla County Florida.
1989 - Feb 25th I married Samuel Doyle Toole, a man who was 9 years older than me and who once faced a 60 year prison sentence. Once his sentence was run current he walked out of prison after serving 7 years day for day of his 60 year sentence. He had a good heart, was great to his children. When we started having children, I had to stop him from bringing homeless people home for dinner. He would then come home, ask me to make a doggy bag and take food back out to them.
1991 Aug first daughter was born.
1992 Aug, second daughter was born.
1995 Feb, husband has accident that leaves him with TBI.. He never recovered and spent the remainder of his life in a health care facility.
1995 June, third daughter was born.
* Worked with M&M Transit transporting incompasitated passangers from nursing homes, to doctors appointments and home from hospitals after an extended stay. I ran a stretcher van, equipted to haul 2 stretchers side by side in the back. This job had me going in and out of nursing homes in several counties during a time when I needed to find one to place my husband into. The hospital tried to dump him in every slum possible but I managed to stand my ground and eventually had him placed at River Chase Care Center. It would later be told to my children by my sister that I put him in a slum. I knew it was one of the nicest places I went into and after checking the homes ratings still feel that even though a simple decision of where I placed my husband was used to try to turn my kids against me, I stand covicted that he was in a place where his daily needs were being met. It was not a state run home.
1995 November, 11 I was arrested for battery for hitting a man with a boat oar, who jumped my fence and frightened my children. My mistake was being honest with the officer when asked who hit first. I told him I did but was so upset at the time did not get time to explain the man jumped the fence, dropped his cup of booze in my yard and was running at me when I swung on him. After 55 days in jail I finally got a bond hearing and was offered a plea to walk that day. I took a plea because with a new baby at home and a husband in coma this case was the least important thing on my agenda.
2000 June became a widow, when husband passed from pneumonia from complications of long term TBI.
2001 Jan, 6th, completed one year of house arrest and completed the terms of my probation successfully.
2001 April I packed up the kids and the cats and moved to Tampa Bay.
2003 April, the State of Florida steals my children from school during a hard time when they should have helped me, their way was to take the only reasons I had to live for.
My Blessed Middle Child
"Oh My wittle bitty got wittle bumps on her wittle cheek". The words I heard come from her dying grandfather when I took her to see him when she was just six weeks old. He lived another week and I wanted her to have something from him so Bitty just stuck with her. I named her when I was 17 and met a girl named liz and always wanted a lizzy. I never got that but what I do have is one special young lady. When she was little and playing she would often come dragging the neighborhood children in the house to patch them up from a fall. I make sure I keep a first aid kit at all times and this natural compassion this child has began to flourish.
Her passion is horses and I have been forced to promise her that "yes hunny" I will get you a horse one day. In my quest of land to make this happen I have found my own little passion for mineature horses and now tease her about getting one but what I would really love is to have a horse farm of mineatures for her to love and care for. They would be much safer than big horses and small enough for her to manage.
I do not consider myself to be religious but I am very spiritual. I learned a long time ago that worry was indeed a lack of faith. I try not to worry and let things happen and am not over dramatic about the small stuff. Growing up we felt pulled in many directions as religious recruiters were always wanting us to attend their church and had little respect for the fact we already attended a church.
I wanted to make sure that my daughters were at least exposed so in their early years I was baptised and although I was doing it to have a fresh start in life as it turned out, more people where thanking me for joining the church than for dedicating my life for God. I was very confused and questioned what had happened. I never went back to that church and wondered through life taking care of my family. I then got my girls in another church and for 2 years was there each time the doors were open. I was later dissapointed to learn that the pastor had no idea who I was because I spent so much time in the childrens ministry. I noticed that during the time I was tything on a regular basis the pastor was more friendly than when I was not tything but he had no clue who I was, or that I had one child in the nursery and 2 in youth services.
I feel my job is to expose my daughters to as much as I can religion included but I have not had a very good experience with religious people so I tend to life my life with a personal walk and understanding with the god I have come to know and love. I know he exist as I have experienced my own miracles in life. The birth of my daughters all Miracles and I often wonder what I done to deserve such special little girls in my world. I have always been admired by others at my ability to tend to their needs and make sure they have the things they need. The credit was never mine. I remember times when I had two children in diapers and no diapers left and without telling anyone having friends show up with diapers right when I needed them the most. I have come home from work to find boxes of toys and clothes on the porch. I have always felt there was someone, somewhere looking out for my family. During their younger years I worked as a waitress and would start about 3 months before Christmas stopping off at the late night Walmart and spending a 20 dollar bill from the tips I had received that day. Christmas was plentiful.
People would ask me, Tammy how do you do it? My answer always the same, feed them, keep them clean and they grow. The love was without question and I always made sure I took time in school and spent a lot of time with them as I had been a single mother for about two years then went back to work when they were one and two years old. It's very difficult to work and have to find someone to care for your children.
