I had to file an abuse report against the caregivers of my daughters.

After a recent chain of events, I was left with no other recourse, than to file my own abuse report against my own children's caregivers at the request of Adriene White, the caseworker on the case, who I tried once again to report the abuse of my daughters. Her answer was to STRONGLY ADVISE that I file a report with 1800 abuse. What do we have case workers for if I have to file the report after speaking with them?

The events that led up to this started a couple of months ago when my daughter was not being allowed to attend band. She was told by the caregivers that she was being punished. She is in marching band, a great girl, 17 and works a part time job after her school day and on weekends. Her band instructor told her that she would be getting a non participation grade that would cause her gpa to sink and suggested she call her case worker. My daughter did so and her band instructor spoke to the case worker, Ms White, whose behavior was repulsive and done nothing but hurt my daughter more, when Ms White, called the caregivers who then called my daughter to ORDER her straight home after school. They took her phone from her and she has not had it since. This is not a phone that the caregivers bought, or even pay the bill to but yet, according to dcf, the police and Ms White, they have the right to take her phone for doing what her teacher told her to do. Great system we have here huh?

OK so I did not make a huge issue over the phone, after all, they are the caregivers and I don't have the right to parent. Since being in that home, my daughter has a nice scar on her lip to show off for the rest of her life, she will need plastic surgery to fix this and this is a nice gift from the caregivers daughter who is an expert in karate. Figures that my daughter was taken out of karate some time ago and then gets chopped by the bully daughter of these people, while they watched I later find out. It turns out that the adult man in the house was also attacking my child which is how his bulldog daughter ended up doing the damage. Someone will pay for this and the state needs to cough up the funds to get her the plastic surgery to fix her lip. OK so at the time this happened I was told it was all an accident but knew my daughter was lying to me. The thing about when people lie, it's never what they say but what they leave out that makes more sense.

The issue with band was resolved after a very heated phone call with Ms White, who agreed with me that education should never be a punishment and the grade was spared although my daughter never got her phone back. As of late, my daughter calls me up very upset over the fact that she is supposed to be at work and she was told that she was not allowed to go. OK to mess with her education is wrong, but to now try to make her appear unreliable on her job is another thing and what sent me off the deep end. I began making calls to Mr Caregiver, early in the day and by the afternoon, he had not returned my call. It was getting time for school to be out and closer to the 4:30 deadline for my daughter to show up at work. At this point my girl was home, being told by Ms Caregiver, that she was not permitted to go to work. It was at this point that I decide to give Mr Caregiver a call on his job to find out why she was not being allowed to go to work. Time was running out and this was a last resort as a number of previous attempts to make contact with Mr Caregiver had been exhausted. I call his job and ask that he be delivered to the phone and his answer as to why she was not being able to go to work was that he was Restricting her activities because she needed more time to do her homework. This was BULLSHIT and I knew it as we are talking about a girl who maintains a gpa as close to 6.0 as possible and has won awards in the past for having a 6.0 and, before I could argue this point he hung up having the final say and disrespecting me in the process.

This set me off as here was a man in control of my daughters live who I had just gotten the truth from my daughter when she said mom, want to really know what happened the day I got my lip split? Of course, yes was my answer and she said that Mr Caregiver was yelling at her and they were teaming up on her, when their daughter jumped in my daughters face and my daughter tried several times to tell her to move and then pushed her back as she was being cornered. It was then the assault was on while according to my other daughter Mr Caregiver was also trying to jump my daughter at that time and they were holding him back. This had me so angry that for this man to hang up on me before I had a chance to give him a piece of my mind, made me call back and leave the message I wanted to give him before he was so rude with the woman who answered the phone at the karate school where he works, telling her that she needed to tell him that he better never put his hands on my daughter again.

What do ya know, finally I get the call back i had waited all day for although now it's past the time my girl is supposed to be at work and his first words to me were, Lady, you have fucked with the wrong person, I then replied, well Sir, yelling it a little louder than normal, I don't know who the hell you are, but my name is Tammy Toole and you have fucked with the wrong persons Kids! He then thought he would take his bully stance, by asking where I was at, I guess he thought he would come beat me up or something so I informed him that I would me all too happy to meet him at the park but make sure he knew that he would not be putting his hands on me because I'm not my 17 year old daughter. Soon as I said that, he hung up as I got in my shoes and headed to the park. I get there and he is not there so I call him back and he uses scare tactic number three, when he said he would be meeting me as soon as he got done speaking to the officer he was speaking with, it was then I noticed a cop looking at me and waved him over to me, and said good, I have my own cop here and you get your cop, come meet me and my cop over here because I'm going to tell him what you have done to my daughter. He hung up again and as of this writing I have not heard a single word from this man. However my daughters conditions have improved and she no longer feels like she is going to get beat up in the house as they know that I'm not going to let that happen. Few things will drive me to the brink of insanity and my kids are one thing. Knowing that a grown man has put his hands on her and mistreated her almost sent me into a homicidal rage. I now have a police officer who I can call personally to discuss anything I'm concerned with.

The officer was surprised that I called in a report, and told me that if they remove the kids from that home that they would be split up and sent into different group homes. Why would this threat need to be put out there? Like one group home can't hold 3 kids? The fear these people put into parents is bullshit but ok at least I have another set of eyes and the caregivers know I'm not playing here.

Ok so my girl still for almost 3 months now is having her phone held hostage but we have resolved this problem and I have given her a calling card that she can use to make her calls with. I guess there is more than one way to kill a cat. As well I don't think they are messing with her job and the calls I get are happier ones.

I have another issue that I must deal with and will be doing so very soon reguarding my sister and the way she keeps wanting to interfear in the lives of my daughters when her own daughter won't even take her grandson to her house for Thanksgiving dinner. I will be putting a stop to her having anything to do with my kids, if her own daughter wants nothing to do with her that's more than enough reason for the state to be concerned with her influence on my kids.

Movie Idea I have

I think it would be a wonderful plot to a movie to have parents who own 2 homes, the children have no idea that the parents own the second home or that it even exist. The parents have regular date nights and usually come home with elaborate stories, but the real truth is that they sit around in the other home making up what they will tell the kids while spying on the kids through video monitoring. The kids, who have no idea that the home has been rigged with hundreds of video cameras and microphones think their parents are psychic when they know everything the kids do. So while the children think they are alone, the plot becomes hysterical as the parents play knowing games *with the children

New Update

I need to make sure that I am not *Parenting my children. I find slight humor in the *fact that I have taken 2 pareting classes per instructions of Hillsbourogh Kids Inc in 2 previous case plans. I have written about these parenting class struggles in this blog preeviously. Now I am ordered by the judge not to parent and my visits are once again restricted to 4 hours per week. This is temporary on the condition that they happen in my home, under the * New Caregiver supervision and on the condition that I allow DCF access to my home 24/5 and as the judge said * go through her things. I find this to be the equilivance of rape but this is not new to me. I seriously doubt that any caseworker is going to show up to plunder through my personal items as I would find it to be most repulsive and intrusive. I will be sure to leave some *things for them to find just to see the look on their faces. I am repulsed that the State of Florida Judicial Department allow such orders that violate a persons right to privacy to be bestowed upon innocent people.

The reason for the change is a change in caregiver status with my children. The previous caregivers were my step sister and her abussive husband who works for AJax Paving Company. My sisters husband has hepititus and on New Years Eve spat in my oldest daughters face exposing her to his disease. I asked my sister about it who told me that she, being my daughter was not at risk of catching it as there was no blood in the spit. Shocked that she would not even take this seriously I told her that I was going to have him arrested for assulting my daughter. This resulted in my being served with a restraining order and ordered into court on Jan 9th with Temporary Injunction against me I go into defend myself. The outcome was an order of dismissal.
Soon after my sister attacked one of my children who refused an ultumatium of stop seeing your mother or leave my house. My daughter then had her boyfriend take her most prized posessions to my home and this angered my sister because my daughter was not willing to stop seeing me. They got into a physical alteration where my sister attacked my child who defended herself by pushing and kicking to keep my 38 year old sister from hitting her. That night the cops were called out and the two youngest children were removed. Taken away in a car, then seperated and taken to two different homes in the middle of the night. The next day when I had a hearing I was able to have them placed back together in the home of my middle daughters best friend, whose parents were foster parents. I am lucky this was allowed and as a result the children did not have to change their lives, schools and friends. Right now things are on an even keel and the girls are once again being allowed to be children under the care of very loving people.

My oldest daughter is playing softball again. She is still in the marching band. My middle child is an officer of the FFA for her chapter. She traded in her clairnet for FFA 2 years ago. I had no intentions of her giving her music up and expect her to take up something in the Arts that will balance her FFA projects. She likes to draw horses, and previous won first place in a talent show along with her sisters in 2003, I think she still has her clairnet somewhere. My baby, playing the violin and currently has a baby bunny rabbit. She seems quite taken with it. She is also attending a Baccolorette School

Happy New Year.. for better or worst!

I would like to express sadness over the the loss of my Mother who passed away just before Christmas. This time has been difficult for my family in so many ways. Since our last court I have been spending as much time as I can with my children as they mature and develop. Boyfriends, school, band, and FFA takes it's toll. I moved into a house not far from their school and this had not made my sister happy. However the judge did say he did not wish for the children to change schools so I hope this move is a good thing.

During this entire horrible event it was not long after placing the children with my sister that I realised it was not the best thing for the girls, it was however the best I could do at the time. When I tried to tell the court appointed attorney at the time of "things going on" his advice to me was to "keep my mouth shut" because I would have no idea where they end up. That was enough for me to know what I was up against. It was not looking good and the case workers had no interest in keeping my family together, but only to destroy what they can and go home at night and sleep knowing their days are spent ripping families apart. They can play all the games they want with me but when it comes to my kids they have another thing coming. I will gladly die to save my family and they need to back up and punt again if they think for a second that I will turn my back on my family and just allow the state to destroy them. I have worked too hard building my children up to let someone come in and rip them apart. I dedicate this year to my daughters and promise to do everything in my power as long as I have breath in me to keep them safe, both physically and mentally. They are my life as they should be.

Football games ...

I never went to high school and have only been to one football game in my life. My daughter is in band and wants me to be at her games. I have stood by for years for the protection of my children and missed so many important functions that I would have never missed had I not been forced out when a strong hold was taken over children. My sister has threatened not to allow my daughter to attend her own games where she is a leading member of the marching band. In the past I would have stayed away so make sure my children did not lose these privileges that my sister has turned them into. I am angry that my children are manipulated this way. I won't stay away from anymore games because if my child wants me there then I should be there for her.

I want my girls back in defense training karate classes that were stopped when my daughters were removed by the State of Florida.

Update: As of Mon, 2-4-08 Judge Rex Barbas has ordered that I NOT PARENT my children. I am not sure what this means. How does a woman who has devoted 16 years of her life to being the best mother she could suddenly stop doing a job she has dedicated the rest of her life to? This was ordered due to latest developments posted (here). I did get *permission to attend public functions such as ball games, but am not allowed to attend any *Parent Teacher Conferences. I don't need to attend parent teacher conferences because my children already know what I expect of them and are doing excellent in school. All I can do is make sure the girls know what I expect of them.

Irony perhaps that these girls need a parent and I'm the only one they have but am not allowed to parent. Life is strange at times isn't it?

I missed a call from my oldest girl today

I have been sick for a week with a bad chest cold that I have been treating with over the counter aggressive therapy of Dayquil/NyQuil and tylanol cold and sinus. I have also been taking Mucinex and drinking plenty of fluids and sleeping a lot. The call from my daughter I never heard at 11 am last night. She said Mom I have not heard from you in a week and I am calling to see how you are, you need to call me cuz I miss you. Naturally by the time I got this call it was 1 am and she was asleep so I called her phone and left a message. her situation has changed and now her grandmother lives with her while undergoing 6 months of chemo for Hopkins lymphoma. She gave up her room and has moved into the Florida room so her Grandmother can have her bed. I admire this young woman more than she knows.

She still has her job and is doing very well. She makes 100 bucks a week part time on the weekend. She still has her boyfriend and has had some problems with him. She almost broke up with him when she felt he had ignored her when they met up in public each with their own friends. She is convinced he is just shy and she has since reported that since she had a talk with him that he is now paying her a lot more attention and trying to not be so shy. This is a difficult time because I have to trust she has all the tools and confidence to take charge of her own relationships and make the right decisions. She has made some very important life decisions in the past and during those times I told her I had to trust that she knew what was best for her life and allowed her to make her own decisions backed by my full support. Like when she went to an inner city magnet school of law for a year then decided it was best for her to go back to public school and try to take extra classes to graduate early. She was worried that I would be disappointed in her but I could not be more proud that she at least tried it and went for it and done all the work herself to get into that school and was able to also decide it was not the right move for her.
She is doing well and is in the high school marching band. I am so proud of her and know that she is indeed going to take her life for a good long ride.

Case UPDATE, Judge rules DCF had no court order for case plan

The Judge decided that the state was wrong and did not have a court order for a case plan. I was aware of this and tried many times to no avail to tell the case workers on the case. The judge gave me back my unsupervised/unlimited visitation with my daughters and refused to accept the case plan by the state. This slows down the process of my getting my daughters back with me full time but at least I can see them without interference with the state.

I guess this is one time they found out they had no right to go in and change my visitation because as the judge stated the girls are old enough to speak up and say they don't want to see me. Naturally this is never going to be the case as they have no reason to not want to see me and never will. I don't have power struggles with my daughters and I treat them with respect and like young adults. I am very happy to be able to see my girls without risk of going to jail but not pleased that after all the stress and work I done towards that case plan they did not have a court order to even initiate it.

Little known fact

The first documented school tragety happened Bath, Michigan May 17, 1927 , I was surprised to learn this, more so after they claim that Va Tech was the worst school shooting in history. There may have been more killed by bullets but more were killed in Bath Michigan than in Va Tech, in may of 1929. A total of 38 children were killed, 7 teachers died and 61 others were severely injured. It was the worst school violence in our nation’s history, and still is today.

Judicial Review Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my juducial review and reunification is still the goal. My sister has told my daughter that I won't ever get my kids back so I am expecting her to make her move. I am surprised she is even attending this hearing but I am told the childrens presence was requested by the case worker. My goal is to get my visits unsupervised as I am in no way a threat to my children. If the state did not allow haters to use them as weapons against families, I would not be dealing with this today. I can't wait to see my girls but hope they handle this well and things go well.



On Monday I went for part one of the evaluation. I am still amazed. All the years when I thought I was crazy and would go see a shrink, they would tell me I was just fine and had figured a lot out on my own. I guess I get offended when under the scrutiny of others. When you put yourself out here, people will all form their own opinions about the circumstances. I do know that the state does not seem at all concerned with the abuse my kids are going through at the hands of my sister and brother in law. Each time I try to get them to see what's going on the case worker Adrien White tells me that they can't control what goes on in my sisters home. I find it odd that their job is to protect the children from abuse but they can turn a blind eye to what's going on under my sister's watch. Eventually people will be able to see what is really going on here but the most important is that my kids know and see the abuse for what it is and not let it affect their long term developement.